April 9, 2021: Continuation of the Work Heartstrings
I am back creating another "spontaneous" music piece, meaning the melody in my head becomes wild when I feel something intense. It bursts! The best way to release this outpouring is through music. This piece represents the disappointment that arises when someone realizes a harsh reality. I recognize this reality is very painful and must be accepted, and then I let it go.
DISAPPOINTED continues the story in Longing, still part of the Heartstrings series. In this piece, the woman stops searching, reminiscing and stops Longing. The reality is apparent in front of her eyes that this really must come to an end; "He is not for you, or rather, he is not yet ready for you!" The fact is that moving on starts from within yourself, not just by waiting for time to pass. Time is only meant to support the internal will. Without the internal will, no time can erase the pain.
The piano, with its repeating bass and supported by "mystical"”-sounding chords, represents the growing pain when confronted with the undeniable truth. The flute represents the woman's thought process, the ongoing struggle between her emotions and logic, trying to find and accept reality. There are moments of Longing and searching occasionally, but not as intense as before.
However, some voices repeatedly speak to the woman: (1) Do what you can do now. Build your integrity "and get even" in all aspects. Do all this for the future. Dreaming is allowed, but when that dream comes true, it depends on the universe. Never dim your colours, and never compare your growth process to others. You just haven't met the one who can accept your colours and realize that you, too, can take theirs. (2) Knowing the truth is painful but better than living in falsehood. We will never know which part needs improvement and what we must do to rise and grow better. This is still hard to do, especially when we feel disappointed. Sometimes we still act selfishly, thinking we are right, without first reflecting on ourselves. Knowing the truth is bitter, but our intention to let go will help us accept it and heal.
This work ends with chromatic notes from the middle octave upward on the piano and flute, followed by the flute holding the final notes, representing the triumph of logic. This leads the woman to a time of rising up or moving on. You deserve better, the "getting even" begins.
The composer's work is subjective. However, the composer does not limit listeners' and music lovers' interpretation of each of her works based on their own subjectivity.
Since this is a spontaneous piece that came straight from the mind and heart, creating the sheet music in standard notation is still in process. Thank you for witnessing my work. I also thank you for supporting my colleagues and me in sharing stories through my music. Regardless of whether it fits the musical tastes of the listeners or the general public in this country, I only wish to be honest in my music. The only medium that allows me to be more truthful is music.
Thank you for listening and engaging with my simple work!
Sola Fide
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